


Forlorn

by hadfoot



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, angst angst angst with a small side of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 11:18:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16853032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hadfoot/pseuds/hadfoot
Summary: Newt didn’t respond, instead choosing to only stare at you with such intensity, you felt your knees grow week. His eyes roamed your face, seeming to take in every scar and imperfection marking your skin, almost as if he were memorizing your features, wanting to burn the image of your face into his mind for the rest of eternity. And then it occurred to you that, maybe, he was. Maybe this would be the last time he got to see your face. Maybe this would be the last time you got to see his.





	Forlorn

Heavy rain tapping against glass was the only sound in the otherwise silent room. You stood at the window with your arms crossed over your chest, watching water fall from the sky and roll down the smooth panes. The dark clouds overhead felt only fitting. There was so much tension in the small bedroom, charged by unmeant words and harsh glances. Like, at any moment, a torrential rain could start pouring down around you. 

You couldn’t stand the silence anymore. 

“You don’t trust me,” you mumbled, twirling a strand of your own hair around your finger as you continued to stare outside at the raging storm.

You heard movement behind you — the bed springs squeaking as he stood, but you still didn’t turn. There was a sigh, followed by a few seconds of silence before he spoke your name, a gentle whisper against the pounding rain. 

“Y/N…” he started, anger, regret, and worry laced in his voice. You could picture him running his hand through his messy cinnamon hair, a habit of his that always came through whenever experiencing an unwelcomed emotion. 

Usually you would find the action rather attractive, but not today. Not with the situation at hand and the displeasure still coursing through your veins.

“Admit it Newt. It’s the only reason you won’t let me come with you. You don’t trust-”

“No. No, that’s not the reason. You know I trust you far more than anyone else,” he interrupted, taking hold of your hand and pulling you towards him until your body collided with his chest, forcing you to face him. 

Newt’s eyes were much darker than their normal seafoam shade, filled with a vast array of emotions, not all abled to be placed. You could tell that he was frustrated, made clear by the harsh frown upon his lips and the intense furrow of his eyebrows. But he wasn’t the only one vexed by the situation at hand, and part of you wondered what right he had to be so irritated. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat before inhaling, a trembling breath struggling to fill your lungs. “More than anyone? Are you sure that’s how you feel? You are bringing Tina along, and not me, after all.”

“I don’t have any say in what she decides-.”

“But you have a say in my actions because we’re together, is that right?”

Newt didn’t respond, his lips taut, a fire raging behind his irises. After seconds that rather felt like minutes, he opened his lips to speak, but was interrupted by a single quick knock.

“Newt?” a soft voice called from the other side of the door, causing the man in question to turn towards it, though no one entered. “Newt, it’s time to go.”

You ground your teeth together upon hearing Tina call for him, your own fire igniting within your eyes as your rage intensified, although it was quickly extinguished once Newt turned back, and you took notice of the single tear rolling down his freckled cheeks. 

“I just-” he started, his voice catching in his throat as he frantically looked you up and down, his arms gripping yours, an action that caused you to involuntarily quirk an eyebrow. 

Newt took a deep breath, regaining his composure and locking his eyes with yours. “I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”

You stilled as his words settled over you. You knew that there was more to the situation than what Newt was telling you if he was questioning your safety on such a level. 

“It sounds like you’re worried that _you_ won’t come back.”

He stayed silent, averting his gaze to his brown, worn-out boots. That was the only answer you needed. You gently tugged your arms free of his hold, one hand landing on his chest while the other wove it’s way into the hair at the base of his neck. His arms immediately moved to encircle your hips, and you watched him swallow, his adam’s apple bobbing as he did. 

“So let me go with you. We’ll do better together, we always do.”

You were disappointed that your voice hadn’t come out as strong as you had wanted it to.

Newt shook his head, a small, humorless smile plastered on his lips. “I can’t let you. Not with a threat this large. You would do anything to ensure my safety, over anything else and-”

“Is that supposed to be a bad thing?”

“When your own life is at risk, yes. Merlin Y/N, you’ve already proved to me that you’ll jump in front of any spell headed my way without any regard.”

“Don’t try to make me feel guilty for that.”

“But do you have any idea how guilty _I_ feel about it?”

“You shouldn’t feel guilty,” you murmured, slowly shaking your head.

Newt stared at you, jaw slack with disbelief. “And why is that, exactly?”

“Because you’ve done the same for me, and I know you well enough to know that you’d do it again without a second thought.”

He couldn’t deny your statement, because what you had said was true. He’d do it over and over and over again, even if your full attention was directed on the caster. Anything to make sure you were safe. 

“Still, with our side being so outnumbered, neither of us-”

“Oh, so you’re outnumbered are you?”

Newt didn’t respond, instead choosing to only stare at you with such intensity, you felt your knees grow week. His eyes roamed your face, seeming to take in every scar and imperfection marking your skin, almost as if he were memorizing your features, wanting to burn the image of your face into his mind for the rest of eternity. And then it occurred to you that, maybe, he was. Maybe this would be the last time he got to see your face. Maybe this would be the last time you got to see his. 

The gravity of the situation hit you all at once, and you felt yourself falter. 

This wasn’t like any other mission. Not if Newt was this terrified of what the end result could be, could mean. 

“He’s there, isn’t he? Grindelwald-”

“Newt, we really have to go,” Tina called out again, at the same time you voiced your question. She was clearly agitated and yet you could tell she was trying to remain sympathetic. She was scared, too.

Newt seemed to break free of his trance at the sound of your voice and his name being called, and his hands were suddenly cupping your cheeks, pulling you towards him in an almost aggressive manner until his lips met yours in a searing kiss. 

Your hands flew to his hair, pulling, grasping, as if his body and the feel of his lips on yours alone were the only two things keeping you grounded in that moment. One of his hands dropped to your hip, dragging you even closer until you practically became one. You couldn’t help the whimper that escaped you, your desperation evident in the minute sound. Although, it wasn’t the desperation one would generally associate with need from kissing a lover. 

No, it was desperation one would associate with a need far deeper. You needed him. You needed him to come home to you in one piece, unharmed and still breathing. You needed to wake up the next morning to a mess of cinnamon hair and the breathtaking seafoam eyes that never failed to pull you in like the tide. You needed to hear his voice whisper goodmorning, and you needed him to hear him say “I love you” that day and every day after. You needed him. 

Newt unwillingly broke the kiss when Tina called out once more, his forehead coming to rest against yours, breathing labored and eyes closed. He grabbed your left wrist, untangling it from his hair and placing a gentle kiss to the palm of your hand. A tear slipped down your cheek. 

“Promise me, you’ll do whatever you have to in order to come home to me.”

Newt hesitated, his eyes focused on your fingers and the way they fit perfectly between his own as he intertwined them. You quickly pulled your hand away, placing it on his cheek, causing his eyes to shift to your own. 

“Promise me,” you repeated, more forceful than before. 

He nodded solemnly, trying to defuse the tension in the room with one of his dazzling smiles. That. That’s another thing that you needed to see again. 

“I promise, darling,” he mumbled.

You could tell that he didn’t entirely believe in his own promise.

You weren’t sure if you believed in it either. 

**Author's Note:**

> There will be another part but ao3 isn't giving me the option to specify that in the description so here ya go


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